You did not just say that

Arks or ask?

No, not Noah’s vessel that housed millions of coupled animals. This is a language disaster. Try though I may I just can’t get past it. When someone says to me, ‘arks your friend if I can borrow her pen’, it’s something I will never, ever be ready for. Arks, unless of course it’s God sending a message about it raining for 40 days and 40 nights to drown us right out.

Ark ɑːk/ noun 1. (in the Bible) the ship built by Noah to save his family and two of every kind of animal from the flood, Noah's ark. o archaic a ship or boat. plural noun: arks

People! Get it right. It’s ASK. Arse-K. Always has been (well since the 1600’s), always will be. ‘Ask me a question’, or ‘ask me what my favourite colour is’ ... don’t arks me ... it’s frigging lazy. It's frigging wrong and it's a boat, built cubit by cubit. My thoughts are, if it’s cultural, that’s okay. If it’s a speech impediment, that's okay, if not ... don’t use it. It’s discrediting. Most of you are not gangsters or rappers. Back in Chaucer’s day he used ‘I ax’, Chaucer wrote between 1374 to 1386. Even Shakespeare used ‘ask’. Stop it ... it’s ARRRSSSKKKK ... ask. It’s just ask.

Who done it?

What don't you get about it's did not done? 'I did my washing today', not 'I done my washing today.' It's poor grammar. Totally say 'I'm done'. Say 'I've done something wrong'...but saying done instead of did, despite them both being past tense is simply ugly. Don't be using done without another verb beside it...you need to add has, have or had dog. 

While we're on it. Don't fucking say seen when it should be saw.  'I saw the new car, not 'I seen the new car'. Again, chuck in a has, were or have, to name a couple...'he had seen the new car'...stop it.